tight knots

i find myself staring into space at this hour being angry and frustrated. i look at the watch and it says 3.20am. i get woken up by his coming home and sounds of merlion.

why does he have to drink every night? why does he needs to drink so excessively every night? why do i have to endure this every single night? why do i have to worry about his health every night? why why why???

and i came to realize that my coldness is accumulated by the nightly frustrations with him that he doesnt want to change, that is no longer endurable, that is so affecting my sleep, that is a mental torture.

steamed released..now let me try and get some shut eye.

Thoughts of the day: I need quality sleep in order to function optimally.